well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
