I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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