I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
