Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I puked a lego.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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