I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
