I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
