apparently the secret to your success is patron
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
