my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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