I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
