Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
