both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
