yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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