My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
