oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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