you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
