hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
