Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
