if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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