You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
