At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
