i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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