Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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