If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
