Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
