My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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