My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
as a side note pls kill me
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
