dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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