hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
