Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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