you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
