sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
