wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
