This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
