drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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