What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
