i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
