i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
