I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize