whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
