You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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