The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
