its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
