i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
