So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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