somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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