No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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