Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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