do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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