Whod you bang
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think my vagina is haunted
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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