great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
