I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize