he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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