There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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