I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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