He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
