Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
