love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
soo... how was my night?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
