I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
