i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
