I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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