You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
