we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
