She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
